Front’s Download Diary 2017

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So its no secret from our Snapchat account that the sexy people at download agreed to let us loose at their kind  of a big deal festival.

It was a belter weekend filled with tits and gin (as always), arses, some willys, wellys and some f*cking amazing bands.

Shit went down…and around… and on walls and feet. As you can imagine. Luckily as we got guest access we had slightly less shitty horrific toilets…

(but they were still pretty shitty).. here’s a little lowdown on what went down at DOWNLOAD.

DAY ONE. The Friday.

8pm:
So we were a bit crap really and didn’t get to Download until late but luckily we had a pop up tent so we pitched that bitch in about 2 seconds, threw our stuff in and tried to find out which stage Sum41 were on. We didn’t even have time for pre tent bevvies! We missed Good Charlotte as well which we were pretty miffed about.

9pm:
Luckily we got to the Zippo stage just in time to see our early 00’s nostalgia in the flesh. It was surreal actually and we teeny bopped our f*ckin’ hearts out. At the end a guy in his late 40’s was stumbling around with a large pink dildo strapped to a helmet on his head. It was at that moment I realised it was gunna be a great weekend…

10pm:
Some greasy kebab meat later, we were at the main stage watching System of a Down where I witnessed two women seriously head banging the shit out of themselves. I thought well they do look rather cool but bet they have stinker migraines in the morning.

DAY TWO: The Saturday.

9am:
Our posher campsite had the option of showers. We were there three days and didn’t shower once as we are clearly animals. Our tent faced the showers so we woke up, drank gin and took the lazier/more fun option of judging the organised clean people waiting two hours for a wash. Who needs a shower when you have a full pack of baby wipes…

10am:
Armed with one of those throw away BBQs we cooked up some Richmonds, however, during the night a thief had struck and stole our ketchup and baconnaise. Of all things. So we had dry Buttys and a mild warning off campsite security to not kill people still sleeping with carbon monoxide poisoning. At least we still had our gin!!

1pm:
In the arena we generally wandered around aimlessly discovering new bands like Raveneye and Junior as we couldn’t be arsed to buy a programme. We seen some WWE fighting going on during Juniors set and my mate spotted some famous brick shit-house wrestler standing alone outside one of the tents so I asked him if he would go on our snapchat. He laughed and said NO in the hardest American accent ever; so I slowly backed away and drank a large awkward sip of my cider.

4pm:
So somehow after a very pissed up afternoon we got an interview with a band who had just been on the Dogtooth stage. We met up with the lovley ‘The La Fontaines’ a quirky Glaswegian band who are “very good” as front man Kerr Okan kept saying. I believed him. Then we had no signal to go live on Facebook. A few botched live videos later we dragged him and drummer Jamie Keenan back to our tent.

instagram: @thelafontaines

5pm:
That also went horribly wrong as more gin was consumed but they were top lads and said they would see us again later. (Their new album drops in August by the way be sure to check it out) After being ditched by the musicians we decided to drown our sorrows watching AFI.

9pm:
As the sun was going down we met a large group of rugby ‘lads lads lads’ who took us under their wing. We all had a lovely spiritual time at A Day to Remember & Biffy Clyro. We then shuffled on over to Rob Zombie. I adore zombies so was dead impressed he made the effort and actually came as a zombie! What an all round decent guy!

11pm:
The sets finished and it got dark so it was obviously time to go on the big wheel and waltzers. I was proud of myself for not spewing. My mate on the other hand had to be physically carried back to our tent by said rugby lads and then laid to rest…so all in all the night was a success!

DAY THREE: The Sunday

10am:
Woke up in a tent I don’t recall to be mine. Drank some water. Ahhhh, Yep it was mine; things just got rather messed up last night. Time to lash on that glitter to cover my haggard face. Today was Aerosmith day and their last live UK gig. You could feel the tension and excitement in the air.

12pm:
Hmmm, the arena was busier than usual. Ovs because Steve Tyler was going to gallop on stage for the last time. We made the executive decision to not drive home that night and to get fucked up again instead.

2pm:
Quick power nap at the tent. Plus gin.

4pm:
Steel panther…..Are. My. New. Heros. Honestly these are the best band I think I will ever see and all their songs are hilarious. Not one song wasn’t about shagging, or fannies or poo-tang. It was a pleasure to listen to.

17 girls in a row was my personal fave as they actually got around 100 odd girls from the crowd onto the stage to dance like sluts and fangirl. It was the funniest thing I’ve seen; tits, selfies & dodgy twerking…it was madness. But seriously though what amazingly laid back cool guys to let their fans on stage. They put on a proper show and entertained us massively. My mate tried and failed to get on stage but she got some decent (and indecent) images instead.

baps in the sunset

9pm:
After an awesome evening of watching a few other new-to-me-earlobes bands we finally got to Aerosmith time. Again it was so surreal to watch a band so big that have been around since before I was even born. Respect to those men, utter ledgends.

Sometime before 11pm:
Of course they saved all their big hits til the end and I got all emotional to the tune off Armageddon and rang my house phone, which was kindly slammed down after like 20 seconds. Then fireworks went off. I was so honoured I got to see them for the last time in the U.K. RIP guys!

Midnightish:
We stumbled back to our leaky wet tent, regretting our decision to get bladdered whilst really looking forward to work at 9am the next morning.

THE END.

It was an absolute honour and a pleasure DOWNLOAD. We hope you will have us back again next year.

Love Front 🖤

FOLLOW @imfawni for endless fun! x

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