Lets see what these pair get up to this time of year… apart from getting semi naked at shoots and feeling each other up of course!!
Warning: May contain Boobs.
So do you spend Xmas eve in or out?
Nanci:Usually out, you’ll find me hidden in the corner of a rock pub back home that I’ve been going to since I was 15.
Piggy: In – I can’t handle Christmas dinner on a hangover anymore!
Any wierd seasonal traditions we should know about?
Nanci: I always have to have a new set of PJs before I go to bed on Christmas Eve… Got to look your best for when a creepy old bearded guy sneaks into your house at night to empty his sack!
What does a typical Xmas day look like to you?
Nanci: Pretty average I think, wake up and have a bacon (quorn) butty with a glass of bucks fizz, finish off the bottle of bucks fizz whilst opening gifts, nip round see our neighbours around 11am move onto beer. Climb a mountain of christmas donner washing it down with wine… Pass out. Wake up, eat chocolate drink baileys. Sleep.
Piggy: Wake and bake and too much food!
What’s the weirdest/shittest gift you’ve ever got?
Piggy:An Ex gave me a painting of himself as a teenager
Nanci: Can’t remember if this was Christmas or my birthday but I got given a pot of honey, my Uncle did then give me money… Something to do with rhyming slang… Who knows… Don’t think 7 year old me got rhyming slang.
*Sounds like Uncle Knob head for sure*
What’s you xmas drink of choice?
Piggy: I make eggnog every year… And sneak in more booze while no ones watching 😉
Nanci: All of them…
How will you be spending boxing day?
Piggy: Playing with puppies
*Ahem…we hope thats a Euphemism?*
Nanci: Escape the house and shop, eat christmas dinner round 2, walk the dogs, drink wine; sleep.
Any New Years plans?
Nanci:I’m off to France to drink wine and eat copious amounts of cheese!
Piggy: House party. *Standard*
Do you believe in santa?
Nanci: And old man emptying his sack for me? Sure I believe in that.
*we will leave that there :@*
Piggy: I believe in the grinch…
Have you been a good girl or a bad girl this year?
Nanci: Hmmm looking at my Instagram feed I would say very bad…
Piggy:Santa likes bad girls right?!?
If you were one of Santa’s reindeer what would your name be and why?
Piggy: Probably still piggymouth for eating all of Santa snacks…
Nanci: Well I’m gutted that Vixen is already taken… Slay-Belle because obviously Je suis belle and I am fierce.
*We like* *applause*
Do you have an xmas wish list we can look at?!
Piggy:Of course! Go give me a follow on my Insta and you can see all! clickHERE!!
Nanci:Well my wishlist is full of very naughty treats so ideal for me: Click HERE!!
Well let’s hope one of our super generous readers gives you a treat! Have a good one guys…
Photography by Dean Archer aka king Size photography
Just over a week ago I had my first striking sparring session. It was a little unexpected on my part, I had no gum shield, no sparring gloves and no shin guards. Luckily James had some spares and even offered to lend me his cup – which I politely declined.
After just doing an hour BJJ sparring, it didn’t seem like I was going to do well. The fear started to set in about the reality I was facing that day. Even though it was “light” sparring and nobody was out to hurt one another, the fear still set in.
If you have never had somebody throwing kicks and punches at your face and body, it is one of the strangest scenarios you will find yourself in. You know that you have to keep your eyes open and head up to fight, but your natural instincts take over. Covering up becomes your best friend.
The whole hour was an embarrassment for me. I was putting my head down and winging my punches from anywhere, just to try and hit my sparring partner. It failed and I got hit a lot more than I cared for.
Then I sparred with an experienced Muay Thai fighter, I won’t say his name, but he is a fucking monster. He weighs about 15 stone and it is all muscle. He also doesn’t seem to understand the concept of “light sparring”.
I was already terrified to step in with him, but I knew I had to. I set my stall out and tried to find range with him by throwing a few leg kicks and a couple of jabs. It didn’t work haha. The next thing I felt was a kick to my body that made me feel as though my spleen was about to fall out and then came over the top with a superman punch right hand to my beak.
It was at this point I said “give me a minute”.
Sticking It Out
While I was hurting and clearly didn’t have a clue what I was doing, I stayed out the session. I took my beating and went home, as they say. A cut lip, a battered mid section and shins that looked like a marble mosaic were what I went home with.
It doesn’t matter though. I knew I would take a beating that first day and I am just lucky that I didn’t put myself in any real danger that day.
No matter what, it was a fantastic learning experience. From this sparring session alone I could pin point exactly where my flaws are. My head movement was non-existent, I was keeping my eyes open during exchanges and I wasn’t keeping my posture high enough to impose any sort of will on my opponent.
After a good 10×3 min rounds, it was done and I was done.
When it came to my second session yesterday, I was a lot more prepared. No cup still, but ready to go nonetheless.
I was still terrified and in fact was more terrified than the week before. Knowing that you’re going to fight someone over any extended period of time will make you think twice about your life choices.
However after last week, my only goal was to be better than last week. And I was. My head movement was better, I was standing straight on at all times and I was keeping my eyes open more when opponents attacked. Don’t get me wrong, I still got battered like a cod but this time it was more on my terms.
Feedback is always Key
After my rounds, my coach James said it was better than last week to me.
While it may not seem a lot, the word “better” when you are training MMA is like having someone suck you off in a traffic jam. It just makes a bad situation good.
I knew I would get murdered again, but just hearing it was better than a week ago, fills you with confidence that will get you back the next week.
Overall this week was a great learning experience altogether. It was more of a life lesson really.
Take that beating but keep moving forward and you can only get better.
Please check out the people supporting me on this journey through their Instagram accounts:
If you’re big into Harry Potter, you’ll be big into this!
After the success of the escape rooms across Hungary, it was only right that we jumped on board the craze and attempted to break free ourselves. Earlier in the year at Breakout Manchester we didn’t quite manage to get escape in time, but did we nail it at the University of Magic?
The aim of the game is to escape a locked room within one hour, by finding clues and solving puzzles. This time we actually managed to escape with 4 minutes to spare! Bossed it!
As well as the wizard themed escape room, Lucardo also has a choice of four other escape rooms, each with different storylines;
If there’s only a couple of you looking to go break out of an escape room, no worries! The games are recommended for a team of 2-6 participants. Lucardo is ideal for team building, special occasions, and most importantly fun!
Massive thanks to Ian for inviting us down to check out the University of Magic, and shout-out to Professor Emma for giving us the best experience possible. We can’t wait to come back again!
BUTCHER BABIES Announce 2018 UK and European TourBUTCHER BABIES will return to the UK and Europe in February and March 2018 to crush stages and eardrums with their vicious live performances and explosive energy.Here are all dates of the upcoming headline tour:20.02.2018 Nottingham (UK) – Rescue Rooms
21.02.2018 Bristol (UK) – Thekla
22.02.2018 Chester (UK) – Live Rooms
23.02.2018 Birmingham (UK) – Asylum
24.02.2018 Newcastle (UK) – Riverside
25.02.2018 Glasgow (UK) – G2
27.02.2018 Milton Keynes (UK) – Craufurd Arms
28.02.2018 Norwich (UK) – Waterfront
01.03.2018 Southampton (UK) – Joiners
02.03.2018 Sheffield (UK) – Corporation
03.03.2018 Manchester (UK) – Rebellion
04.03.2018 London (UK) – The Dome
06.03.2018 Bochum (Germany) – Rockpalast
07.03.2018 Hamburg (Germany) – Logo
08.03.2018 Jena (Germany) – F-Haus
09.03.2018 Prague (Czech Republic) – Nova Chmelnice
10.03.2018 Graz (Austria) – Explosiv
11.03.2018 Munich (Germany) – Backstage Club
13.03.2018 Milan (Italy) – Legend Club
14.03.2018 Zurich (Switzerland) – Klub Komplex
15.03.2018 Mannheim (Germany) – Ms Connexion Complex
16.03.2018 Zaandam (Netherlands) – De Flux
17.03.2018 Leiden (Netherlands) – Gebr. de NobelAlso check out the video for “Headspin”, from the band’s latest album “Lilith”
Produced by Steve Evetts (Suicide Silence, Dillinger Escape Plan, The Cure), “Lilith” has already seduced fans worldwide as it debuts at #1 on iTunes Metal Chart, #7 on iTunes Rock Chart and #35 on iTunes Top 100 Charts. You can get your copy now at http://smarturl.it/BBLilith
We bumped intoKitty Kingon our most recent in-house shoot; recreating the much loved Xmas film by sexing her up to be a better looking version of the cult fave.
Far from a monster; we opted to leave the prosthetics at home and shove a shish pipe in the mix, well… just because.
Now here’s some of those NAUGHTY festive things we all love to do this time of year.
After-all, it’s GOOD to be BAD.
1. SEX IN PUBLIC PLACES
Yes it may be illegal, but it sure is fun! Shagging on the bonnet of a dark green Peugeot 306 in a frosted over field at 3am is the shady sorta shit dreams are made of. If you get caught well… that’s just a bonus. Don’t forget todress up as Santa next time just for added kicks; after all no-ones gunna arrest Santa with his pants down.
…Well we may as well ask her if bears shit in the woods BUT we asked Kitty if she’s ever had sex in public. Her response:Well, I did once have girl on girl fumble in a jacuzzi? wait thats not dead public is it.. ok, erm… well there was this time in the back of a empty nightclub VIP area, we couldn’t wait so snuck in and sat on one of the empty tables. I shifted my dress to one side and was grinding on him for about half an hour!! No one knew a thing!
2. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU …HER
So, you have a bird who wants a pricey designer bag on the 25th. Lets face it: if she doesn’t get it then she’s not putting out til’ Spring. Yeah ur gfs an arguable 6.5 out of 10 but can you really be blamed for wanting some Mildred the Milf action in light of this? After all, the only thing Mildred wants off you this Christmas is 8 minutes at premium rate of £3.50. TV sex lines may just be your life line this winter, but is there really a such a thing a so-called porn-cheating??
Here’s what Kitty thinks: HAH! absolutely not. It’s just like VR Porn (which I’ve tried by the way its so crazy!) men have their needs and as long as they don’t touch who cares! I work on the TV lines myself so obviously Im biased but you’d rather your boyfriend call me and chat through a screen than meet up with another woman in person! – am I right??
3. Xmas Day Wake ‘n’ Bake
Erm… Why is this legal in Amsterdam, along with prostitution? Those Dutch bastards don’t realise how lucky they are! A steaming great big bong is just what the doctor ordered at 9am so fuck those posh fucks with their eggs Benedict. Your far too hungover for those family niceties and need something to take off the edge off Uncle Knob ‘Edd. And anyway… your nan’s too busy watching the Queens speech to notice your neck melting into your shoulders. Grind away veterans!
Any interesting weed stories we should know about Kitty? Oh god no I don’t touch anything I am proper fridgid in that department! But come to mention it I got spiked (by myself) a few weeks ago with weed. I didn’t really know what it was as don’t smoke so gave it a whirl…kept taking bits as it seemed to do nothing. Anyway, One thing led to another and next thing I know I’m laid flat on this guys apartment floor convinced I’m a piece of Salami and his over friendly cat is trying to eat me!!
Hmm. Guess we will leave that there then. Thanks for sharing.
4. Buying Real Fake Presents
OK so this one ‘aint good to be bad at all really. Yeah you may save some money but it will do nothing for your street cred. Anyone got them freaks off of the old Facebook selling Hugo buff, Channelle and even fake Nike trainers in abundance at the min? The only Channelle we wanna see under our tree this year is an extra off shameless. At least you can have a pint with her down the local when ya brothers being a tee total scrooge. I mean fuck right off… if you need to buy fake Nike you really ought to reintegrate your cheapskate self back into society. This year call these minge bags out. We dare ya!!
Kitty’s tip: Socks are your friend. Even unbranded socks over fake gear. Remember this boys!!! p.s. I like Louis Vuitton 😉
5. Leaving your Wife & Kids
Yes. This is generally frowned upon so could you not??
No matter how certain you are, there’s always an element of risk with gambling, so no-one should ever bet more than they can afford. Still, gambling done right can be a lot of fun. What’s more, with a few little-known secrets, there are ways to put the odds ever-so-slightly in your favour.
Betting is a game, so stop when the fun stops, but — let’s be honest — it’s better if you win! Here are some ways to do it.
Know that Favourites Aren’t Always Favourites
Here’s something the bookies definitely don’t want you to know: they can be really bad at picking favourites.
Think of it from the bookie’s point of view. There are sports happening all over the world all of the time and — as a bookie — you’re expected to have odds and favourites for every possible outcome. Inevitably, there are going to be some weak spots to your system. Indeed, there often are.
From a bookmaker’s perspective, Nadal is always a safe bet on clay because of his track record on that surface. So, from a distance, he looks like an easy favourite. As such, for many bookies, he was.
Upon closer inspection, though, a tennis fan would have been able to tell you that Nadal had been going through a rough patch back then and that Fognini had beaten Nadal on clay only a few months earlier. Not only that, but Fognini had built up something of a reputation for knocking top seeds out of tournaments.
Put all that together and Nadal looks like a pretty weak favourite. As such, a bet against him might not have been such a bad idea. In order to beat the bookies here, you would have had to have been a tennis super-fan. Which brings us to the next point…
Pick Your Game of Skill Wisely and Your Game of Chance for Fun
Some games are just a matter of chance. Playing live roulette online can be enjoyable, but it’s entirely down to luck — and it’s important to know that and to remind yourself of it while you play. If you lose time after time, you’re not “due” a win. If you win time after time, you’re not on a “winning streak”. That roulette wheel is random. Unlike you, it has no memory.
What’s more, with games of chance, casinos and bookmakers always stake the odds against you. That’s how they make so much money because — if the long run — they’re always profitable. Knowing this gives you the power to bet wisely.
This advice is twofold. Firstly, playing for fun while you’re betting means that you should stop playing when the fun stops. Secondly, playing for fun — with good friends — is a great way to improve your skill at games like poker.
Professional poker players play to win. However, like anyone who ever succeeds at anything, they got where they are because they have a love for the game deep down. That comes from having played poker for years for the sake of playing poker.
Poker is a game you can play with friends for no money or for buy-ins as little as one pound. If you love the game for the sake of the game, you’re much more likely to improve at it.
The same goes for sports betting. If you love watching tennis or football, and love reading all of the commentary surrounding the sport, you’ll wind up knowing it better than the bookies do. That’s when you make your move!
Best Place to Play Live Roulette Online? Seek Expert Advice
Becoming smart enough to beat the bookies or the casinos is also about taking advice from experts. Granted, you’ll never “beat the casino” at live roulette online because it’s not a game of skill and the casino designs the game so that it always has the edge.
However, there are ways in which even some live roulette games online give you slightly better chances than others. A casino offering la partage, for example, let’s you take back half of your stake if the ball lands on zero. What’s more, a casino with a smaller minimum stake is always better.
Expert advice onthe best places to play live roulette online is helpful. However, the kind of advice you can apply to games of skill can be used to hone your craft. You can’t get better at chance betting, only smarter. By contrast, reading about the best techniques for poker or sports betting can help you to improve.
Set Yourself a Budget and Never Chase Your Losses
If you set yourself a budget, you can make sure that you won’t bet more than you can afford. Be realistic with this budget, though. Gambling can be an expensive hobby. This isn’t an issue if you do it for the love of the game and if you go into the game with a sensible budget in mind. Creating a budget you can stick to will also stop you from chasing your losses.
Dakota Roche is sat in the Monster Energy cab at this years’ Battle of Hastings, broad shouldered and smiling.
“What are my predictions for the event?” He laughs, as I brush the water from my jeans.
Ten minutes before, on the main drag through Hastings, swirled in the wind and rain, a concrete box met me. An alien against the medieval churches of this old town.
Even stranger, with its stark, brutalist edges, when compared to the nostalgic and unkempt seaside buildings rattling away on the other side of the road.
Inside, away from the chopped up sea, you spiral downwards into a labyrinth of corridors and staircases, all of which lead to Source Park and the biggest BMX event in the UK.
“I have no idea what’s going to happen, honestly” Roche says. “But I can promise you it’s gunna be out of hand.”
The Monster Energy rider wasn’t wrong.
Larry Edgar and Finals Day
After the practice and qualifications on Saturday, the Battle of Hastings 2017 moved to a completely different level on Sunday. The world’s best BMX riders, peaking on finals day, riffing their way through Source Park’s off-white bowls and tacked on street circuit.
Looking down on the park, amongst the fans, and to the sound of a thousand hands beating on the plastic side panels, Larry Edgar sat alone.
Recognised as one of the best riders in the world, Edgar went into the competition as one of the clear favourites. He won it last year. That day, though, he looked tired. Lines cracking over his classically American, expressive face.
“I’m not happy with how I rode,” he said, eating cous cous from a plastic bowl. “It could have been better so I’m just waiting to hear if we made the finals.”
They did. And it was Team Edgar’s ride in the video below that provided one of the highlights of the whole weekend. His insanely talented team of Broc Raiford, Justin Spriet and Matt Cordova were all individually brilliant in their own way.
And that’s what you realise about BMX up close; it’s an art, a form of individual expression that pushes way past the realm of just another action sport.
There are athletic, precise and explosive riders, of which Edgar is probably the best. Lightning flying to the ceiling, testing the vertical limits of their sport.
Back below, a different current, where fluid riders bring their bikes as a second thought. At one point, with Jason Watts in mid air, I noticed time standing still, watching from the corner, having a beer with the rest of us.
“BMX is definitely another outlet for expressing yourself,” Roche says. “When I’m home I like to work with wood and I also skate, and along with BMX they all kind of benefit one another. So I could be in my workshop, working with wood, and I’ll start having an idea about a BMX trick. I think it’s important to have different outlets.”
Some BMX riders express themselves in a way that makes you wonder what kind of danger we’d all be in if they had never found the sport.
“Yeah,” Roche says. “Definitely some people have a wild compound that comes out in BMX. Like they can be really chill in everyday life and then all the craziness in them is let out on their bikes.”
You can kind of see that with Kevin Peraza, although his craziness is refined. He rides tightly measured, concentrated, operating somewhere near the eye of the storm.
Team Enarson Winners
The eventual competition winners were Team Dennis Enarson (Dennis Enarson, Chad Kerley, Garrett Reynolds and Alex Haim).
Chad Kerley set the tone for that team. He’s another rider with an unmistakable style, throwing his bright white bike around the bright white lights at Source BMX. It’s all power and finesse, physically ripping the bike onto his preferred lines along the course.
Team Edgar in second and Team Kyle in third rounded out the top three.
Later that night the Nora Cup kicked off. The ‘Oscars of BMX’ had never been held in the UK before, but the winners and events of that night have already been widely reported by people more expert than me. DirtbikerLivetoride.
Before the gongs were handed out, at The Castle, Hastings, the world of BMX sat and stood to watch Beyond, Dan Lacey’s Monster Energy video.
Lacey was hit badly by injury, and this video was a long time coming. In the bar, later that night, you could see the relief he felt after getting it out. The boy from Hastings done well. During the video, every rail and stair set was cheered loudly by the sports’ biggest names.
You could feel the collective understanding, that this is hard work. That BMX is hard, that it’s art, and that good art is precious to people who can see it.
AMBIENCE: Festivals work best when it’s hot. No-one wants to contemplate rain in that much detail. Field Trip got the lucky charm and it was by far the hottest weekend I have ever spent outside Bruton in Somerset.
With outside taps to languish under, cocktails, street food and stunning views we weren’t wanting for much. Dusk times were spent mulling the evening ahead under the festival flags and laughing at each other in the cool valley breeze. As night time came around we trawled the six sound systems danced hard and notched up a sunrise; three times in a row. Splat.
MUSIC: Standout moments from Will White (Propeller Heads) and Daniel Morgan at The Tunnel. Also on a superior level were Serial Killaz (& 5 Alive) at Ignition. At the main Pow Wow stage, Sister Bliss (Faithless,) Merv (Eat Static) and Leftfield all banked up some good times. Other highlights; the stratospheric light shows all weekend, Camelphat at The Ministry of Sound, Catz ‘n Dogz and Latmun at The Apex and my (well Joanna’s) bell tent.
CONCLUSION: Field trip puts music at the heart matter and creates what can best be described as a free party atmosphere. A throw-back vibe that couldn’t have been more evoked than by the same six men making shapes every morning to techno at the main stage. This is a clear alternative to the corporate gentrification of today’s festivals, increasingly mired in money with the roots of a community gathering long forgotten. No such shenanigans at Field Trip this is hard core. Whack the chillers on in the car if you want.
We enjoyed the lack of separate glamping areas, the intimate site and friendly crowds. As we repaired to the Peruvian food stall to slam a few rare tequilas, we reflected that since the early 90’s and days of Circus Warp, West Country people have been at the front when rolling out a solid outdoor party.
We agreed that Field Trip upholds that tradition while pushing it further, giving the underground dance genre and its artists a platform. Giving the party heads what they want.
I left at 6ish on the Sunday morning and was surrounded by a crowd of security and farmers at the gate.
‘Only one head light bird, you don’t wanna get pulled.’
A deft punch to the driver’s side from a burly farmer soon had things lit up again. ‘Mind you get that sorted.’
Dreaming halcyon dreams of 2018, wraparound hills and JUMP UP
Admittedly I probably did have time in the last month or so to write a blog, however…..I didn’t. The reason being is because I have had a hell of a month overall and it hit me hard mentally.
At the end of my last blog I set myself a challenge to not eat shit and exercise at least 5 times a week until Christmas. All was going well, I was ketogenic as fuck and my training was becoming more frequent.
Injuries Are Right Fookers…..
Then, I was struck with an injury. To my finger no least. It was during a Jiu Jitsu sparring session and somebody manipulated my fingers – something which is illegal. Blaming the person responsible wouldn’t be fair. They too are a white belt and don’t know the intricacies of the sport. I had to take a week off, while crying into my pillow.
After the injury, diarrhoea decided to show up and literally shower itself everywhere. I was really feeling quite low and no energy. During my shits I remember doing an hour rolling in jits and I got horrific cramp in my thighs and couldn’t stand properly. My body just wasn’t retaining enough to train.
We’ve All Wanted To Say “FUCK YOU LIFE”
Life has a way of always being a complete cunt, and in this instance was no different. As soon as I started training again, slowly but surely, my wife and I were told that she would need to have chemotherapy once again. My wife only finished her last treatment just a month before and we believed we would have a little more time before hell set in.
Unfortunately this is the nature of cancer. It has no discrimination, doesn’t care if you want to relax, doesn’t care about all the other parts of your life and more importantly it seems to thrive on your stress. The wife and I decided it was best to get away for a week.
We went to the Tuscan hills to a sleepy little town called Serravezza. It was a beautiful old villa, the air was fresh, the views were beautiful and the food was sensational. You’re probably thinking “wait Sam, you fat cunt, I thought you were dieting until christmas?”. You’d be correct in thinking that.
However if you’re mad about it, fuck you. My wife is and always will be more important to me than a diet or a blog. Me enjoying my week with my wife and eating as we pleased was exactly what we needed for a reset before chemo.
Not many people will understand, even though they would like you to think they do, but chemotherapy is a cunt. It takes away basically all my wife’s choices, she can’t even taste food.
Make Your Own Path
It may have been a shitter of a month, but it was also a complete reset and refresh for me. These kinds of moments in life really make you consider what is important. Training, being healthy and taking care of my wife is all I care about for now.
I am training at least 5 times a week now, I am dieting well and my skill level has come on something rotten. Oh and nothing is confirmed, but by the next blog, there could be some big news about my fight.
To finish this week off, I just want to say, don’t be too fucking hard on yourself. I do it all the time, did I do this right? Am I doing enough? I wonder if those people think this of me? Well fuck ’em, be happy and do what you want to do.
If you could please do me a favour and follow my journey on instagram @fattytofighter
There are funny vids, technique vids, UFC/MMA news and also my fat body. Oh and all the wonderful people who helped me so far along the way are there too!
Please check out the people supporting me on this journey through their Instagram accounts: